sabotaging your social skills

when i went in to get my hair done on monday i was handed the latest issue of cosmo to read while they put the colour in. i havntnt read cosmo for years and was shocked to find 3 articles related to facebook, and blogging - obviously the last time i brought an issue there was no myspace/facebook and blogs were the new things. 

the first article was how socail networking is sabotaging peoples social skills and facebook dosnt count as catching up with a person. 

they covered three areas 

friendships that people need to still meet up for coffees to get the hug and catch up and while instant messages can be easier and less intimidating, tone of a message can be misleading (this is why we use emotions ;) ) some of my family and friends i only communicate with via msn and facebook but that is basically due to location and my close friends and i hardly ever msg each other over these devises in-fact i often dont instant message them at all when they are on line simply because i see them all the time 

work. that often email each other cos they cant be fucked getting up out of their chairs. well this also comes down to productivity when i was tempting in jens office we sat next to each other and yet will still email each other. you can have conversations with out your boss overhearing and if you get up out of your chair you run the risk of running in to the office chatterbox or gossip and spending 30 minutes relaying something to someone where as if you stayed put it be 5 minutes while you multi tasked 

love - this concerns people that meet online but that chemistry is not translated to real life and while internet is a great way to met people and get to know them initially the real dating should happen old style in the flesh 

this next was about status despair and that people are having real anxiety not having hundreds of online contacts and they go on to say (yes contradicting themselves) "online communication is no different to what happens in real life" and good relationships on line can lead to confidence and hight esteem while being ignored can be devastating  then they say that online relationships are more intense and fast, easily accessible and available at all hours so when people dont receive instant response they are instantly disappointed (note to all my post yes i get anxious if you dont respond asap ;) )  and when things turn sour your reactions are heightened they even state that people have gone into therapy over an online relationship in second life breaking down (i went into therapy when i got rejected from a facebook group ) 

and the last one was about online confessionals and salvation and hour there is hundreds on online sites where people can confess their sins in secrecy and blogs fall into this category as celebrities post apologies to their fans via  their myspace blogs and also release their latest press statements about pending marriages, babies and divorces. i know im a tad more candid on line then in person and a bit more of my whole self is often displayed on net where as i sometimes censor those aspects around different groups of people but most people are like that 

our whole life is on line these days and everything is posted and relayed via facebook and this has been happening for years it definitely not knew yes i still remember 10 years ago when i  married a friend on line .... i never got that divorced oops 

Alfresco Australia

reading ralph this month and i couldn't help but post this article they featured 

69 places to have sex in public in australia most of the list is a joke i suppose not to actually seam they are advocating sex in public but they are funny

1. Melbourne cup 

2. Yorkey's Knob, QLD and other places like Tittybong (vic) Middle Intercourse Island (WA) 

3. LAdy Macquarie's Chair, Sydney 

4. Domestic-flight toilets 

5. camping 

6. the MCG, melbourne (bonus points if you do it in the members stand)

7. the daintree rainforest, qld 

8. the grounds of parliment house, ACT - the place is chockas with pricks anyway so who'll notice one more ?

9. rundle mall adelaide, theres bugger all spectacles in adelaode so you may as well make one of yourself  

10. Bondi beach, Sydney 

11. floriade, Canberra, ACT - most chicks dig flowers and sex so why not combine the two by humping at australia's premier flower festival 

12. the big banana, coffs habour, nsw - if only for sheer double entendre hilarity, not advisable is you have a tiny dick, though , it'll only highlight the fact. trust us on this one ....

13. nimbin, nsw

14. the simpson desert 

15. mt kosciusko, NSW/VIC - summer only no ones frostbite 

16. cradle mountain national park, TAS - with a local chick that way if you get lost at least youve got your own map of tassie to show you the way 

17. the ralph magazine editors place- we'll leave the key under the mat for you 

18. coogee bay hotle, Sydney 

19 at the backyard bbq

20 under the old gum tree, glenelg, SA

21. at the logies

22. the ralph office

23 outside breaky central ( "sunrise" channel 7, martin place sydeny )

24 on the three sisters, blue mountains, nsw - this is even more awesome if its with three sisters who arnt geological formations 

25. your mates couch - with your mates hot sister dont forget to post pics on your facebook page - he'll love it 

26. sydney to hobart yacht race

27 at a sheffield sheild math - not only is the sound of leather on wood arousing , no one actually goes to these games, so you'll have plenty of privacy 

28. Shane's warnes backyard - there is bound to be a stray hottie running around here somewhere surley ?

29. luna park, sydney/melbourne 

30 the great barrier reef, not actually on it, that sharp coral cuts and stings like a mother f**ker

31 the entrance central coast, nsw

32 in a coober pedy underground house, sa

33. botany bay , sydney 

34. central station sydney

35. the set of rove live 

36. the museum of contemporary art, sydney 

37. on a tram - its actually the only place in melbourne that doesnt double as a bar

38. kirribilli house lawn, sydney 

39 brewery - the bubbling vats of beer are guaranteed to get the erotic 

40. back of a panel van - "dont come a knockin if the vans a rockin" the phrase that still needs to be added to australias constitution 

41. cockington green, act 

42 your old high school - relive the good old days with your sweet heart, extra points if she wears her old uniform 

43. your parents bed.

44. the pub with no beer, - theres no beer.. what the f**k eles are you suppose to do there?

45. the big merino goulburn, nsw be sure to make a joke about how you like to ram, to a kiwi chick, she'll crack up at your wit

46. during the screening of an aussie film - no one will be there, and you;ll give the projectionist something decent to watch 

47. at the ARIAs  - if you get busted ask why axle whitheads aloud to get his dick out but not you 

48 music festival portaloo

49. New Zealand - we reckon its close enough to count as aussie soil.

50. outside your local myer - solo of course 

51 backpacker hostel 

52 rod laver arena , melbourne  

53 the big day out, sydney 

54, the opera house sydney 

55 condom kingdom, surfers paradise

56 summernats, act 

57 nullarbor plain - stick a brick on the accelerator attach string to keep the wheel straight, then rock the back of the kombi

58 the ghan

59 at an alex lloyd concert 

60 on the edge of the great australian bight - really adventurous stuff but dont fall off or your fucked

61 in fornt of aerobics oz style 

62 on the bonds commercial casting couch 

63 the british high commission , act - show the british how ist donr

64 your local sexaholics anonymous meeting - seriously how hard can it be

65 in the audience of australian idol - dont forget to yell touchdown 

66. dreamworld roolercoaster, gold coast - the most exciting place to go down in oz, most rides here only last 2 minutes, but thats twice as long as your personal best 

67 thredbo, nsw what happens in thredbo, stays in thredbo , if you believe the adds 

68 the brownlow awards  

69 the pilbarra region , WA

sadly there is no harbour bridge?? 

stopping the plague

yesterday, the 1st of december was world aids day , the 20th anniversary and to mark the day the w channel aired the special "rampant". which was a special about sydney and australia fought the spread of aids when it was first diagnoised and discovered in the early 80's to be a real disease

i was really interested as aids was one of the few new items and world events i can remember from my childhood. i can vividly remember the aids awareness campaign aid with the grim reaper. i also had a family friend who had aids when i was young and can remember being scared when i first found out about it and 9 years old and had a room mate with HIV when i was in my late teens 

the opening sent chills down my spine!

"25 years ago a man came in to St Vincents hospital sydney sick. he was from new york, a gardner young and fit with a crowded sexual history and he was gay. the doctors made their diagnosis the first in australia. this man had aids. no one knew what caused it or how it might be spread, later when he seamed well he was simply discharged and that was the last the doctors saw of him."

pretty soon more and more gay man were being infected with hiv/aids. no one knew thought it was a virus. they didnt know its history, what caused it, how it was spread, and how to treat it. before it was recgonised to be tarnsmitted by blood. doctors assumed that it was and that there was identified high risk groups, gay man, iv drug uses, sex workers. leapers of the community.

it took some time but the government funded aids eductation programs. needle exchanges were set up across the country so that if you used drugs you could ensure you had a clean needle, condoms were given to brothels with legislation put into place. and target education to gay men on the importance of using condoms. there was also a national program to encourage the general public to use condoms as well at very sexual encounter. a national add was put on australian tvs to shock everyone to tell everyone you were at risk of getting aids if you were not using safe sex practices. 

these were the grim reaper adds that of 1987/88 that everyone of that eara can remember. i was simple terrified of them when they came on. and they still look scary today.

these programs are the "australian model" and is funded permanently. there has never been 1 case of suspected case of a sexual worker been transmitted to a client. 25 000 people have been prevented  from contacting aids/hiv from needle exchange 

by 1987 the spread of aids was down. 6 1/2 thousand people have died in australia from aids. against the trends around the world aids/hiv rates continue to decline 

the australia model is not how hiv is fought in most of the world. elsewhere strategies to stop the virus are based on beliefs about how the world should behave.

the bigger funder of international hiv programs is the usa. most of its funds go to promoting abstinence until marriage and zero tolerance for drugs. it opposes needle exchange and limits support for condoms

around the world 25 million people have died from hiv/aids. 40 million are now infected unless policies change within 10 years 80 million will carry this deadly preventable virus 

new job!

well i have a new job!!!
yay!!!
when my old boss heard i was looking for a job she rang me up and offered me the position she had in the kangaroos room (the preschool 3-5yrs)
i worked their during 2005 mostly in the preschool room. i loved it when i was there. i only changed jobs because i was on a maternity leave position and didnt know if kim was able to give me a permeant full time position and tanya had that position and was offering it to me.... so i left busy kids and came to st helens park in 2006. a week after i left busy kids the girl i replaced while she was on maternity leave choose not to come back .... so that pissed me off i wish i knew a few weeks earlier :(.
but i cant take away the two years i had at SHP i loved the kids and i had sooo much experience and i also loved the parents and have made friends with a few, i did also like the girls i worked with .... but it was a lot of stress so im happy to be back at busy kidz
so i start on the 11th of august and cant wait to be back at work so yay!!!!!!!

Catching up

well 2 of my besties came down to sydney a few weeks ago its been a yr since i saw them last, of course they also brought their cutie kids too ebony and hayden
we went to dinner so we didnt catch up as much as what i would of liked but we will be in qld ourselves in 20 days (20 days a woo hoo!!)
anyways we corrupted (jen and me ) ebony at dinner. she wanted to be our best friends (how cute!) and i said she had to have a black shirt and brown hair (this was after jamie had commented on how jen and i looked the same with us both wearing black shirts and having the same coloured hair ...he is such a dork) anyways ebony goes and tells andie she needs to now wear black. andrea says omg are you turning my daughter into an emo? we then took her into the bathroom and posed for photos with her

omg we sound like totally perverts...when kim comes down we take photos of ourselves in the bathrooms just up against the walls or the sinks... so we added ebony to this. andrea knew we were going to do this. when we came out i was saying what pics we took to andrea when ebony says "shhs thats our secret...we didnt take any pictures in the bathroom mummy!" lol

Chemo Sideaffects Sucks!

i was originally going to have this is as my status in facebook
but decided to vent here instead so i didnt get a million msgs on my wall and inbox asking what is wrong

so i woke up all crappy today which is unusual for a day after chemo i normally get a delayed reaction of nausea that hits me on Thursday or Friday.

so i was going to post it as my status but thought it would be best to do it here
anyway these are the side effects i could live without

1. nausea it sucks and i have a low tolerance for nausea lets leave it at that lol
2. the 5 tablets i have to have to get me going in the morning then tablets during the day to keep me going that dont take it completely away and i have to have food with it which is hard when ur nauseas
3. the bad taste (like metal) u get in your mouth that changes the way everything taste and turns u off some foods and makes u like others arhh!
4. the heighten sense of smell which sounds cool like a super hero or something but sucks when u put ur fav perfume on and it instantly makes you want to be sick and u really cant wash it off once its off even more irritating if u work it yesterday ( i decided against the match lipstick once i had that reaction lol)
5. the tiredness and exhaustion u have all the time, like today i fell asleep for 3 hours and when i woke up whwn adrian got home i thought it was 5.30 on thrsday morn and adrian was leaving work without saying goodbye. or two weeks ago when i slept all friday i fell asleep on my bed in the middle not even on pillow or anything. and two days before that feel asleep in front in my computer chair ( thats a bad influences i have picked up from Michael a fb friend, luckily today i new i was falling asleep and went up to bed before i did in the chair again. Lucian would of thought i had keyboard marks on my face.
6. putting on weight so im in between sizes again and have nothing to wear :( enough said !!!
7. losing my hair, makes me cold now , and leave me me with less clothing options , hair goes with everything!! actually ill only winge about the hair on my heads its cool not having to shave
8. bad memory i have shocking memory at the moment i forget days and what i did and what im doing i dont even remember the next thing that was on this list lol
9 so ill make one up (im actually not lying though) my uncontrollable thirst god and its not for water that i absolutely love and now cant drink cos of the mental taste (this has now turned into tow reasons) no i cant get enough coke, well diet coke, with ice, and the best cokes are the extra large ones form maccas i drank 3 of the the other day one after the other man which leads into my teeth feel like they are just going to fall out! god a big fear
10. now i remeber the real next on the list which was suppose to be up a bit higher so it can slip in unnoticed amongst the other gripes since ill be tagging this one
is sex now that im on chemo which is toxic chemicals beeing pumped into my body we cant risk passing these on to adrian or falling pregnant ( ohh the irony!!) and i cant go on the pill nor do i really want to so we had to use condoms. yik anyone who knows me i dont like them everything about them and they know why so i wont go into it too much information lol (however im not agisnt other ppl using them for safe sex purposes but since im married i cant hate them if i want to )
11. cos im on chemo i cant fall pregnant so its putting my life on hold! it sucks i wanted to be on maternity leave by now (with actually the 3rd baby!) but instead im on sick leave so this sucks and now im not working and in debt its going to hard to save and justify to others going back to ivf after chemo. arrhhh!

okay enough winging and im typing this in Siberia (which is actually warm tonight and i have no jukebox cos the net hates me using i tunes at the same time) so i keep getting bumped off thank god for auto save!!!

ciao (omg influences from aus chat yet there is Colombians in there again!)

jamata ( i wish i could speak fluent Japaneses

пока (ok i dont know russian i just put it in since im tagging Michael)

tchau ( Portuguese completely random )

okay enough byes im turning of the translator

could i live by myself?.......um NO!

on monday night i was downstairs from 5pm and at 6 i went back up to do something and had to turn the light on in the lounge room. when i did so the light blew. actually it not only blew it exploded. so the power tripped and i was left in complete darkness. i made my way down stairs ( difficult when my eyes have trouble adjusting in the dark) and outside to the power box. now i have never had to turn the power back on so i didnt now which switch i had to turn and couldnt really see as it was dark. so i thought my only option was to sit in darkness or by the glow of my computer until adrian go home at 7pm so only an hour lol. about 40 minutes later my boss rang as asked was the power off since the centre and house power are connected to the one power box. and the centre alarm must of been effected. i said it was but i didnt know which switch to turn on and adrian was about 20 mins away. she told me she will come over and turn it back on for me. to which i felt so guilty because she was at her mum's place for her birthday. so embarrassing! anyways adrian came home 2 minutes later so she didnt have to come over.
i felt so embarrassed. so i couldnt live by myself when i couldnt even turn my power back on if a light bulb blew! omg!

Sexy costume? update

while i was reading back through my posts i realised i had bloged about my costume for adrian's cousin's 21st (well actually i had forgot to type "cousin" in the last blog so i made it sound like it was adrians 21st)
well anyway i mentioned i had decided to go as a prostitute and adrian as a pimp. so i had brought my boots yay!, and had other accessories like hand cuffs, whip/ feather thing. and had to buy a costume and fishnets. i had gone to bras and thingsa and had tried on a school girl out fit and "miss massage" the school girl one was waaay to short, and the miss massage one was a little too short i would need something else underneath it. i took my friends to adults shops to scout for new costumes and all the good ones looked crap and were so expensive. so i settled on the miss massage outfit with fishnets, FM boots and my leather jacket i also brought a cami to go under the dress and it sits about 2 inchs lower then the dress and comes with a v-string which i have decided not to wear after trying on the whole outfit and discovering it i accidentally had my dress ride up id rather show off briefs then my bare ass. my in-laws will be there. i also discovered that my stockings are a tad to short as there is about a 3 inch gap between the tops of the stockings and my dress.
hopefully i added the pictures of the outfits correctly.
stay tune to see if i have the guts to actually wear it to the party.

bisexuality a cliche? and do i want it?

this will have to be the most nervous post i've done.
okay i know i said earlier that i was candid about my self and particularly about my sexuality. but i didn't state what it is (well i did but not clearly) although i have never been ashamed or nothing i just have been careful with who knows. since it dosnt only affect me. but my family and i mean extended family.
anyways
back looong time ago when i was 18. most of my discussions with my friends and Adrian (new boy friend) were about sex. threesomes were also a big topic of converstation. and being girls my friends and i found it comfortable to say what chicks were hot and not. (unlike guys, girls can do this and still maintain that they are 100% straight.) threesomes also became a huge topic in Adrian's and and i relationship. around this time i suddenly realised that i was more than just curious about sex with girls. i really wanted to do it. and had developed "crushes" on some of my friends (i say crushes but it really was just wanting have sex with them. i began bringing up 3somes with Adrian more and more and eventually i came to the conclusion i was bisexual.
bisexuality is a big scope so i felt the need to define it to myself. i was in love with Adrian and wanted to marry him (by this stage we were engaged) and loved men. but was also interested in women, and found them hot too. i had no desire to pursue a relationship with a women. and my feelings for women were basically all about sex.
admitting it was a bit scary as when i was younger i was always confused by the bisexual person. how do they stay faithful? do they eventually choose an orientation? how is that fair for their partner?
now i realise you stay faithful to your partner because you want to and its not that hard if you love them. no i didn't eventually "become" straight because i'm married. i still have the same feelings just i wont be having relationships now with women as im in a committed relationship. when your straight and you get married you still find other men hot, you just dont go and sleep with them. how is this fair for Adrian? i hope he has nothing to worry about me running off with another person woman or man.
after i said to myself "Lisa your bi!" i told Adrian he was pretty cool about it (guys dream and all that) and i think he knew. i then told my friends who also were "yep we know!"
it became a big thing for me. i wanted to experiment. and it was a big focus of my sex life and personality for some time.
now years later it has faded into the back ground. more people know now, like my mum and sister who i was afraid to initially tell. I've done my experimenting although i would like more.
I've reevaluated what bi means to me, i think if i was bi before i met Adrian would i'v had a relationship with a women?, if Adrian and i divorced would i go on to be with a women? i dont know these answers and i never will. and it dosnt really bother me.
i once thought everyone was bisexuality just on different scales.
and now in this age maybe im right.
to me bisexuality , especially for women has become a cliche. or experimenting with girls for young women has become a right of passage every one does these days (god i sound old) it seams every where i turn there is a bunch of young women kissing each other, saying they're bi. and i have to wonder are they? or are they just making a statement? trying to turn guys on? it certainly more acceptable now so is that why there is more women being vocal about it?
but it all seams cliche! and whilst im not saying im not bi anymore (its not a choice) i just hate being part of that cliche!

sydney harbour

on wednesday i took jack to sydney to take him on a ferry since has never been on one before. he was so excited because he said he had never seen the harbour bridge or the opera house either. when we pulled into circular quay he was saying "oh my god, its soo cool!" when went down to the ferry terminal and i was planing to go full circle around the harbour, then catch a ferry to neutral bay then have lunch with adrian. jack was very excited when we got of the ferry then when we stared moving, he immediately wanted to get off and became sea sick. so when we got to darling harbour instead of going back around to circular quay we got off and walked up to adrian's work. the longest walk of my life!, it was raining, uphill, lung infection, 5 year old saying how much longer?, and i became overheated so i had to stop off at a shop any buy a t-shirt and bra.
we met adrian's work jack liked going up to see adrian's office "adrian is very busy!" after lunch i asked jack did he want to go home or catch another ferry. he said he did (amazingly) so we jumped on a train back to circular quay and caught a ferry to watson's bay and back this time he loved it. then we came back home a good day all in all.

lung infection

when i went to my nan's last thursday i noticed that the air was making me feel uncomfortable when i breathed. then over the weekend i had more troubles breathing like when i was walking up the stairs at home, yawning, talking at my normal pace, being outside in the cold. and twice i had real trouble catching my breath.
when i went in to chemo on tuesday i knew i had a lung function test (i actually didn't until 6th of may but thought it was on tuesday) the test showed some difference since the last time and so my heam sent me for a xray.
then when the scans came back, she came up to me in the chemo suit and sent me for a ct scan. and called down my respiratory doctor to speak to me.
the possibilities where either i had an infection in my lungs (requiring antibiotics) or one of the chemo drugs were causing toxicity in my lungs (requiring steroids)
the radiologist couldn't decide which it was so i was put on both. two antibiotics since im allergic to penicillin. and my chemo was held off for a week to give my lungs a break, and from now on the drug that causes the lung toxicity will be left out of the chemo combo.

tired exhausted

i have been tired and exhausted all week this week, i hardly slept on the weekend, then all week i had normal hours of sleep, but woke up totally exhausted and tired with my body aching.
so i spent most of the week laying around wishing i could have a massage,
i got one on wednesday but by the afternoon was needing another one!
and still now i need one!

Pet scan results, Horton hears a who, and boots and costumes

i got my pet scan results back yesterday. my heam says it is all inactive except my spleen, im happy but i was expecting the good news. but i still dont know what to think about it all, it stills feel like i was just diagnosed, i WAS just diagnosed!
so hopefully i will finish off my chemo cycles 3 and half to go thats 7 treatments. then i will be able to get the all clear to fall pregnant and will!

i took jack to see Horton Hears a Who today which was a good movie, i love Dr Suess books everything about them, the linguistics, the illustrations, and the infinity of Dr Suess's imagination. i grew up with my dad and mum reading them to me in fact "The Cat and the Hat" was the first book i read

later i met up shopping with my friends and cousins we had lunch and shopped. i decided i needed long boots today i have always wanted a pair and have shopped around for 8 years trying to buy them, but have never found a decent pair that fits but now my legs are slimmer so i looked today and found some!! yay and they were cheep. im using them as part of a costume for Adrian's 21st. its a sinners and saints theme so im going as a dominatrix or sinner of some sort, i have the boots, fishnets, handcuffs, and wips ect. i looked in bras and things for some costumes tried on two, the skirts were a bit short. we later went to a adult shops and found really expensive crappy costumes. so ill probably go the ones in bras and things

anyway im in chat so ill get going

cia till next time

slide shows

hopes this works

Adrian and Me

href="http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vd3d3LnNsaWRlLmNvbS9waXZvdD9jeT1tcyZhZD0wJmlkPTY0ODUxODM0NjM0NTYwMDAyMCZtYXA9Mg==" target="_blank">

Me and Jen ^

Easter Eggs

man im soo glad in a way we couldnt afford easter eggs this year.

normally adrian and i go crazy buying each other about 1.5 kilos of chocolate, (no lie!) so this year we had less then half maybe even a 1/4 the chocolate we normally get. for the first time in years i was able to finish all my eggs! normally next easter comes and i still have eggs, i actually threw out a egg from the fridge that i got 2 years ago a couple of days ago.

yes i like to savour my eggs lol,

im not really into rich chocolate either im happy just with cadbury or nestles eggs, i dont like red tulip, lindt or darrell lea.

this year i didnt need chocolate either!

i have been eating not stop sugar since my first chemo and my teeth feel like they are full of holes now

i used to be soo good with sugar too and ate very little in my diet, i need to stop eating it!!!

Footy, Jack and Circuses

okay i can see this is going to be a bad NRL season for me in the tipping
last week i got 0 from 8, 0!!!
and i tips wrong last night
:(
this sucks

we had jack over last night and im taking him to the circus today,
his actually yelling at me to get out of the bad so i gotta run

finances finances

man its been tough with no pay
i applied for centerlink payments and was rejected because they claim adrian earns too much,but we used all his pay on bills and had no pay left and still have bills, i lodge an appeal today so hopefully it gets reversed.
i also looked into getting some of my old super out.

im getting a lift on tuesday and thursday to rpa from the lift is from the leukemia foundation, i kinda feel guilty uterlising this service because i have a car i just cant afford the petrol.

our washing machine blew up too its just all happening lol

my new book is out so adrian brought it for me today yeah!, i love these books from linda fairstein its like reading svu i cant wait to get stuck into it.