well i have a new job!!!
yay!!!
when my old boss heard i was looking for a job she rang me up and offered me the position she had in the kangaroos room (the preschool 3-5yrs)
i worked their during 2005 mostly in the preschool room. i loved it when i was there. i only changed jobs because i was on a maternity leave position and didnt know if kim was able to give me a permeant full time position and tanya had that position and was offering it to me.... so i left busy kids and came to st helens park in 2006. a week after i left busy kids the girl i replaced while she was on maternity leave choose not to come back .... so that pissed me off i wish i knew a few weeks earlier :(.
but i cant take away the two years i had at SHP i loved the kids and i had sooo much experience and i also loved the parents and have made friends with a few, i did also like the girls i worked with .... but it was a lot of stress so im happy to be back at busy kidz
so i start on the 11th of august and cant wait to be back at work so yay!!!!!!!
Lilly
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Catching up
well 2 of my besties came down to sydney a few weeks ago its been a yr since i saw them last, of course they also brought their cutie kids too ebony and hayden
we went to dinner so we didnt catch up as much as what i would of liked but we will be in qld ourselves in 20 days (20 days a woo hoo!!)
anyways we corrupted (jen and me ) ebony at dinner. she wanted to be our best friends (how cute!) and i said she had to have a black shirt and brown hair (this was after jamie had commented on how jen and i looked the same with us both wearing black shirts and having the same coloured hair ...he is such a dork) anyways ebony goes and tells andie she needs to now wear black. andrea says omg are you turning my daughter into an emo? we then took her into the bathroom and posed for photos with her
omg we sound like totally perverts...when kim comes down we take photos of ourselves in the bathrooms just up against the walls or the sinks... so we added ebony to this. andrea knew we were going to do this. when we came out i was saying what pics we took to andrea when ebony says "shhs thats our secret...we didnt take any pictures in the bathroom mummy!" lol
we went to dinner so we didnt catch up as much as what i would of liked but we will be in qld ourselves in 20 days (20 days a woo hoo!!)
anyways we corrupted (jen and me ) ebony at dinner. she wanted to be our best friends (how cute!) and i said she had to have a black shirt and brown hair (this was after jamie had commented on how jen and i looked the same with us both wearing black shirts and having the same coloured hair ...he is such a dork) anyways ebony goes and tells andie she needs to now wear black. andrea says omg are you turning my daughter into an emo? we then took her into the bathroom and posed for photos with her
omg we sound like totally perverts...when kim comes down we take photos of ourselves in the bathrooms just up against the walls or the sinks... so we added ebony to this. andrea knew we were going to do this. when we came out i was saying what pics we took to andrea when ebony says "shhs thats our secret...we didnt take any pictures in the bathroom mummy!" lol
(soo long away)......Hi!
okay it has been like a hundred years since my last post, well 19 days to be correct!
i kinda went through a internet hiatus.......omg so weird but anyways
so much has happen, but when i start typing it out it'll sound like nothing lol
ill break them up so it seams like you have more to read (thats for you andie ;) )
i kinda went through a internet hiatus.......omg so weird but anyways
so much has happen, but when i start typing it out it'll sound like nothing lol
ill break them up so it seams like you have more to read (thats for you andie ;) )
Thursday, June 19, 2008
inFertility speaks
i watched this episode of oprah yesterday about women in their 30s
one of the women Jenna was struggling with infertility and my heart just went out to her it was like she was me and it was me on the couch talking to oprah
she starts of saying how she had built a dream of what her 30s was going to be like, 2 children with one on the way, (mine was 3 if not 4 with more on the way)
soon after the wedding she started trying to get pregnant ( we went of the pill 3 months after we got married)
she went to a fertility specialist and was but on clomdid (as was i)
all her friends and family started having children ( i have now over 20 ppl around me who have had children since i have started trying and thats not counting the new siblings at work!)
she states "Every day, as often as they think about their own children, is as often i think about the ones i should have" (that was like she had pulled a deep secret form inside me to the surface)
she says everywhere she looks she is reminded about the choices she has made with children in mind ( im sick, im tired, im exhausted of thinking "when we have kids.....")
after months on the colmid she was put onto IVF (in-vitro infertilistaion, we use IUI (interuninary insemination)
daly injections are part of her routine with every shot comes a dose of hope "this could be the shot that creates that baby for us" ( i think this too, and when im in the chair for the insemination and it creeps into my mind EVERYTIME we have sex, as much as i dont want it to)
after 3 years jenna got pregnant but miscarried at 11 weeks ( we have now being trying for 6 years, my birthday is the anniversary of going of the pill and "trying" hence why i hate my birthday now, its a reminded of no baby, and im terrified of falling pregnant but to have it taken away from me through miscarriage since PCOS has an increase of miscarriages)
jenna mentions a lot about infertility is about waiting, waiting for the next cycle, waiting for enough money, waiting for test results ( i feel all i do is wait!)
in her email to oprah she wrote "infertility for many women like myself is a daily reminded that i am a women who can not perform the very function that is a women, it is a bruise on the soul always tender, painful and much deeper then the discolouration of disappointment" she says she feels shame because she is a women and should be able to bear children and she can not do that unless there is an army of people in the room with her putting embryos inside of her she says "im in my 30's and the women around me are having babies and living their lives i feel stuck, i feel like i am in a place where i cant move on until i have closure" ( i feel like my life has stop, at a standstill, and my closure will be a pregnancy, a baby in my arms)
opah mentions that jenea has probably heard all the stories like ppl trying to get pregnant for yeas, adopt then miraculously fall pregnant. jenna says this is the hardest statement to hear, thats why there is shame,
she dosnt want to hear what she "should do" like "go on vacation" "stop thinking about it" "dont worry it will happen" "your young you have plenty of time" "stop trying" (these are the most painful and insensitive things to hear, i dont want to hear about ppls success stories, and advice especially from ppl who have not gone through infertility!, we have tried all these "curers" and it is the hardest thing in the world "to stop thinking about it" when all you crave is a pregnancy that leads to a baby)
oprah ask "can you hear it may not happen?, can you be at peace with that?" she says "not yet, not yet , my life is about children, im a teacher, my life goal is to have kids, to watch them grow, to be a part of that, for me to be able to let that go im not ready for that, my own biological children i may be able to let go at some point, but we will adopt, i can not let go of not being a mum" (it was like she was pulling words out of my head, im not ready to let go at all, not even biological children yet, children are in my life, im a teacher and if i was to let go of the hope of children for me and being a mum i think i would need to get a new profession, teaching would be unbearable if i was to remain childless for ever, teaching could never replace my own children)
this is the hardest thing i have ever had to deal with. every day i think about when i will have children, and it is soo hard shopping walking past pregnant women and prams and baby shops. i tried not to be bitter but sometimes i cant help it. when i first started trying i would go into all the baby stores and pick out the cots, prams, cloths, car seats ect, when i was frist diagnosed with infertiliy i couldnt even walk past those shops for years or even look at baby catalogues then i go and do something i know would hurt me but i havnt given up hope so i got in to baby toys r us and walk around the baby section touching the cots and change tables, prams, ect and even pick up a complete catolouge on my way out and hide it in my dresser draw to look at it every once in a while. i dont know why i do this to myself when i know it will just hurt me, but i know if ididnt i would have given up hope of ever having that baby.
one of the women Jenna was struggling with infertility and my heart just went out to her it was like she was me and it was me on the couch talking to oprah
she starts of saying how she had built a dream of what her 30s was going to be like, 2 children with one on the way, (mine was 3 if not 4 with more on the way)
soon after the wedding she started trying to get pregnant ( we went of the pill 3 months after we got married)
she went to a fertility specialist and was but on clomdid (as was i)
all her friends and family started having children ( i have now over 20 ppl around me who have had children since i have started trying and thats not counting the new siblings at work!)
she states "Every day, as often as they think about their own children, is as often i think about the ones i should have" (that was like she had pulled a deep secret form inside me to the surface)
she says everywhere she looks she is reminded about the choices she has made with children in mind ( im sick, im tired, im exhausted of thinking "when we have kids.....")
after months on the colmid she was put onto IVF (in-vitro infertilistaion, we use IUI (interuninary insemination)
daly injections are part of her routine with every shot comes a dose of hope "this could be the shot that creates that baby for us" ( i think this too, and when im in the chair for the insemination and it creeps into my mind EVERYTIME we have sex, as much as i dont want it to)
after 3 years jenna got pregnant but miscarried at 11 weeks ( we have now being trying for 6 years, my birthday is the anniversary of going of the pill and "trying" hence why i hate my birthday now, its a reminded of no baby, and im terrified of falling pregnant but to have it taken away from me through miscarriage since PCOS has an increase of miscarriages)
jenna mentions a lot about infertility is about waiting, waiting for the next cycle, waiting for enough money, waiting for test results ( i feel all i do is wait!)
in her email to oprah she wrote "infertility for many women like myself is a daily reminded that i am a women who can not perform the very function that is a women, it is a bruise on the soul always tender, painful and much deeper then the discolouration of disappointment" she says she feels shame because she is a women and should be able to bear children and she can not do that unless there is an army of people in the room with her putting embryos inside of her she says "im in my 30's and the women around me are having babies and living their lives i feel stuck, i feel like i am in a place where i cant move on until i have closure" ( i feel like my life has stop, at a standstill, and my closure will be a pregnancy, a baby in my arms)
opah mentions that jenea has probably heard all the stories like ppl trying to get pregnant for yeas, adopt then miraculously fall pregnant. jenna says this is the hardest statement to hear, thats why there is shame,
she dosnt want to hear what she "should do" like "go on vacation" "stop thinking about it" "dont worry it will happen" "your young you have plenty of time" "stop trying" (these are the most painful and insensitive things to hear, i dont want to hear about ppls success stories, and advice especially from ppl who have not gone through infertility!, we have tried all these "curers" and it is the hardest thing in the world "to stop thinking about it" when all you crave is a pregnancy that leads to a baby)
oprah ask "can you hear it may not happen?, can you be at peace with that?" she says "not yet, not yet , my life is about children, im a teacher, my life goal is to have kids, to watch them grow, to be a part of that, for me to be able to let that go im not ready for that, my own biological children i may be able to let go at some point, but we will adopt, i can not let go of not being a mum" (it was like she was pulling words out of my head, im not ready to let go at all, not even biological children yet, children are in my life, im a teacher and if i was to let go of the hope of children for me and being a mum i think i would need to get a new profession, teaching would be unbearable if i was to remain childless for ever, teaching could never replace my own children)
this is the hardest thing i have ever had to deal with. every day i think about when i will have children, and it is soo hard shopping walking past pregnant women and prams and baby shops. i tried not to be bitter but sometimes i cant help it. when i first started trying i would go into all the baby stores and pick out the cots, prams, cloths, car seats ect, when i was frist diagnosed with infertiliy i couldnt even walk past those shops for years or even look at baby catalogues then i go and do something i know would hurt me but i havnt given up hope so i got in to baby toys r us and walk around the baby section touching the cots and change tables, prams, ect and even pick up a complete catolouge on my way out and hide it in my dresser draw to look at it every once in a while. i dont know why i do this to myself when i know it will just hurt me, but i know if ididnt i would have given up hope of ever having that baby.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
adrian the bad luck chemo token
i had chemo on Tuesday and Adrian was going to come. i had actually forgotten to ask him to come until Thursday night, so he had to go to his boss on Friday and ask for Tuesday off, after the public holiday Monday. oops. so Adrian has only been to one chemo day and has met me at chemo twice before. we get there on Tuesday. my doctor is in London for two weeks so i had to go up to the step down unit to get my blood test. the head nurse looked at me and said how was i feeling i dont look to well. i had woken up with the flu on Monday morning, i had caught it off Adrian , who only had barely a cold, i wouldn't even know he was sick had he not told me. i tell sandy (the head nurse) that i had caught the flu and had only had 3 hours sleep because of this. she said hhmmm ok, we might not do chemo then. 5 minutes later she sent me home saying they didn't want to give me chemo which was only going to make me feel worse tomorrow morning and to come back next week.
this has been the 3rd time my chemo has been delayed and these 3 times have all been times Adrian has come with me. there has only been one occasion that he has been to chemo where i have actually gotten chemo! freaky!
so now im calling him but bad luck chemo charm. but dont take this as i dont want him there. i do! i just hope it dosnt get delayed again i cant afford it to be delayed as it will interfere with my holiday.
here is hoping on tuesday when he comes with me it dosnt get delayed lol
this has been the 3rd time my chemo has been delayed and these 3 times have all been times Adrian has come with me. there has only been one occasion that he has been to chemo where i have actually gotten chemo! freaky!
so now im calling him but bad luck chemo charm. but dont take this as i dont want him there. i do! i just hope it dosnt get delayed again i cant afford it to be delayed as it will interfere with my holiday.
here is hoping on tuesday when he comes with me it dosnt get delayed lol
Monday, June 9, 2008
Adam Hills on being an Aussie
Adam Hils is FUCKING funny!
here is 3 gigs, im still looking for my fav one of his when he was in canada and was doing a bit about his missing foot. stay tune hopefully ill find it.
here is 3 gigs, im still looking for my fav one of his when he was in canada and was doing a bit about his missing foot. stay tune hopefully ill find it.
new fav add and funnies on the cheeesels box
a cool add i saw at the movies it is SO typical women
ok this might sound like a slow blog day but this box had me in hesterics. adrian brought mini cheezels the other day and while i was eating i couldnt help but read the side of the box this is what is says
"every tim the big cheeze threw a party he noticed children gathered around the cheesel bowl, slipping regular cheezels onto their tiny fingers. so the big cheeze said "lets invent a mini cheezel a supper cute mini ring perfectly suited to small hands and fingers" so he did and he named them mini cheezels k neezels because they jump head first into fun.
party tricks
* take a box of mini cheezels and a bunch of good friends
* put on you favourite song and start building the highest tower you can out of mini cheezels
*if you knock someone elses tower over you are disqualified
*the person with the highest tower at the end of the song is crowned the mini cheezels maximus (thats a little big hero)
the min cheezels k neezels party food ideas
thread mini cheezels onto a stretch snak lolly
or thread them onto a skinny carrot or chelery sticks
or even strips of liquorice
taste test are also underway with tiny dollops of ice cream in the tiny holes and dipping them into chocolate.
ok this might sound like a slow blog day but this box had me in hesterics. adrian brought mini cheezels the other day and while i was eating i couldnt help but read the side of the box this is what is says
"every tim the big cheeze threw a party he noticed children gathered around the cheesel bowl, slipping regular cheezels onto their tiny fingers. so the big cheeze said "lets invent a mini cheezel a supper cute mini ring perfectly suited to small hands and fingers" so he did and he named them mini cheezels k neezels because they jump head first into fun.
party tricks
* take a box of mini cheezels and a bunch of good friends
* put on you favourite song and start building the highest tower you can out of mini cheezels
*if you knock someone elses tower over you are disqualified
*the person with the highest tower at the end of the song is crowned the mini cheezels maximus (thats a little big hero)
the min cheezels k neezels party food ideas
thread mini cheezels onto a stretch snak lolly
or thread them onto a skinny carrot or chelery sticks
or even strips of liquorice
taste test are also underway with tiny dollops of ice cream in the tiny holes and dipping them into chocolate.
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