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Monday, December 22, 2008

Alfresco Australia

reading ralph this month and i couldn't help but post this article they featured 
69 places to have sex in public in australia most of the list is a joke i suppose not to actually seam they are advocating sex in public but they are funny

1. Melbourne cup 
2. Yorkey's Knob, QLD and other places like Tittybong (vic) Middle Intercourse Island (WA) 
3. LAdy Macquarie's Chair, Sydney 
4. Domestic-flight toilets 
5. camping 
6. the MCG, melbourne (bonus points if you do it in the members stand)
7. the daintree rainforest, qld 
8. the grounds of parliment house, ACT - the place is chockas with pricks anyway so who'll notice one more ?
9. rundle mall adelaide, theres bugger all spectacles in adelaode so you may as well make one of yourself  
10. Bondi beach, Sydney 
11. floriade, Canberra, ACT - most chicks dig flowers and sex so why not combine the two by humping at australia's premier flower festival 
12. the big banana, coffs habour, nsw - if only for sheer double entendre hilarity, not advisable is you have a tiny dick, though , it'll only highlight the fact. trust us on this one ....
13. nimbin, nsw
14. the simpson desert 
15. mt kosciusko, NSW/VIC - summer only no ones frostbite 
16. cradle mountain national park, TAS - with a local chick that way if you get lost at least youve got your own map of tassie to show you the way 
17. the ralph magazine editors place- we'll leave the key under the mat for you 
18. coogee bay hotle, Sydney 
19 at the backyard bbq
20 under the old gum tree, glenelg, SA
21. at the logies
22. the ralph office
23 outside breaky central ( "sunrise" channel 7, martin place sydeny )
24 on the three sisters, blue mountains, nsw - this is even more awesome if its with three sisters who arnt geological formations 
25. your mates couch - with your mates hot sister dont forget to post pics on your facebook page - he'll love it 
26. sydney to hobart yacht race
27 at a sheffield sheild math - not only is the sound of leather on wood arousing , no one actually goes to these games, so you'll have plenty of privacy 
28. Shane's warnes backyard - there is bound to be a stray hottie running around here somewhere surley ?
29. luna park, sydney/melbourne 
30 the great barrier reef, not actually on it, that sharp coral cuts and stings like a mother f**ker
31 the entrance central coast, nsw
32 in a coober pedy underground house, sa
33. botany bay , sydney 
34. central station sydney
35. the set of rove live 
36. the museum of contemporary art, sydney 
37. on a tram - its actually the only place in melbourne that doesnt double as a bar
38. kirribilli house lawn, sydney 
39 brewery - the bubbling vats of beer are guaranteed to get the erotic 
40. back of a panel van - "dont come a knockin if the vans a rockin" the phrase that still needs to be added to australias constitution 
41. cockington green, act 
42 your old high school - relive the good old days with your sweet heart, extra points if she wears her old uniform 
43. your parents bed.
44. the pub with no beer, - theres no beer.. what the f**k eles are you suppose to do there?
45. the big merino goulburn, nsw be sure to make a joke about how you like to ram, to a kiwi chick, she'll crack up at your wit
46. during the screening of an aussie film - no one will be there, and you;ll give the projectionist something decent to watch 
47. at the ARIAs  - if you get busted ask why axle whitheads aloud to get his dick out but not you 
48 music festival portaloo
49. New Zealand - we reckon its close enough to count as aussie soil.
50. outside your local myer - solo of course 
51 backpacker hostel 
52 rod laver arena , melbourne  
53 the big day out, sydney 
54, the opera house sydney 
55 condom kingdom, surfers paradise
56 summernats, act 
57 nullarbor plain - stick a brick on the accelerator attach string to keep the wheel straight, then rock the back of the kombi
58 the ghan
59 at an alex lloyd concert 
60 on the edge of the great australian bight - really adventurous stuff but dont fall off or your fucked
61 in fornt of aerobics oz style 
62 on the bonds commercial casting couch 
63 the british high commission , act - show the british how ist donr
64 your local sexaholics anonymous meeting - seriously how hard can it be
65 in the audience of australian idol - dont forget to yell touchdown 
66. dreamworld roolercoaster, gold coast - the most exciting place to go down in oz, most rides here only last 2 minutes, but thats twice as long as your personal best 
67 thredbo, nsw what happens in thredbo, stays in thredbo , if you believe the adds 
68 the brownlow awards  
69 the pilbarra region , WA

sadly there is no harbour bridge?? 

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh man, you have to be f*cking desperate for a root to do number 48!!! Eeeewwww And why on earth would you wanna do it at Central station? Only place in Oz I've had sex in public was at Bent's Basin.

LisaD said...

lol i know too gross hey!
i can only say half to two of them i hang my head about the central station cos although it wasnt on it it was in a train ......